What would you say to someone you were doing Bible study with who. . . .?

Ok, here’s the sitch: I have been bringing someone to church with me for a couple of months, who has a drinking problem and has refused to get help from any other sector. Now, I wasn’t sure how much she understood of the messages on Sunday and I wondered whether she had any questions about what she was hearing. Due to her alcohol problem, I also didn’t want her to go from Sunday to Sunday without some encouragement in between, so I started a home Bible study with her on Wed. nights. For the past two Sundays, she has not shown up for church and now says that she enjoys our studies so much more than the Sunday message. Other than the Apostle Paul’s exhortation not to “forsake the gathering of ourselves together”, what should I say to impress upon her that once a week is not enough and that our Bible study should not take the place of attending church?

What would you say to someone you were doing Bible study with who. . . .?
How could you (or any of the responders to this question) possibly consider withholding Bible study from someone who is seeking? Forget your own agenda, rules, etc. Who are we to limit or question the transforming power of studying the word of God? I believe the core purpose of Church to be to equip the body. We, as followers of Christ, have a responsibility to reach out to the lost through our interpersonal relationships. Don't count on your Church to do it.
Reply:I would just keep the private studies with her for the present time. Maybe she is not ready to be assembled with a whole Church yet, some people feel so ashamed, embarrased, and with you in a comfortable setting, the enemy probilly wont have as much influence on her to keep her from opening up and letting the spirit work on her heart.


I would just choose scriptures that show the importance of "building each other up %26amp; the necessity of bearing each others burdons" to show her how importance fellowship, and belonging is, especially in the times we are living in.


I think the most important thing is to not give up on her, don't critize her for not attending Church, but try and find why she feels uncomfortable in Church. It could be she just knows within her heart that she isn't right with God, and feels uncomfortable with the other believers. Pray about it and let the spirit lead you, and you might need to back off a bit, let the spirit work on her heart and when she is ready she will come, around. In this case you have allready planted the seed, now just nurture it, and try and help keep the "weeds" (cares of this world) from choking it out! May God bless you and your friend, and I thank you for doing Gods work, I wish I had a friend like you 25 years ago!! ----Gary Mitchell----
Reply:I don't believe in religion myself, but I will say that it can be the only way of helping someone who has an addiction. If you don't want religious people to judge you then you should start by not judging them. Calling it brainwashing nonsense is just making you look closed-minded, when being an Atheist is more about having an extremely open mind. Some people need to feel like they have been put here on earth for a reason and if religion is what helps Johnny No name to not off himself because he has lost his house, job and family due to %26lt;insert addiction here%26gt;.. then so be it. Jesus loves him.. to each their own :)





I would agree with the first comment, just tell her you wont be making the wedsneday bible study if she can't commit herself to church every sunday. And if religion isn't doing the trick, send her on to AA
Reply:People who are helped by going to church OR AA are people who have decided they want to be helped. Unless and until this person is motivated to change, she won't. If she's motivated to go to church or to study with you, it's apparently for some other reason than stopping drinking. Does she believe she has a problem, or do YOU?
Reply:I would continue the study....Unless you get prompting from The holy spirit to discontinue....It is hard for a new Christian to follow along until they get basic Bible doctrine down...Also " Where ever 2 or more are joined together, God's spirit is there" The Drinking is an entirely separate issue...Just my opinion...
Reply:First of all , do not push her. Maybe at this time in her life, what she needs is that Bible Study, more that being around other people. Allow her to come to your house and go through the study with you- God could be using you to draw her to Himself, and to stop the journey to recovery from her drinking problem. Telling her that not going to church is a sin, is not going to help her want to go. Is she a Christian already still struggling with alcoholism, or a non-believer. Either way she may need to have a one on one with you before she feels comfortable sharing her life at church.
Reply:Bless your heart, sweetie.........alcoholics do not think like regular folks.....and so we do not understand a lot about them. I do feel that they are often cunning and manipulative.....and this is part of they way they deal with their addiction. Denial too. Your friend needs to rap with folks who are recovering alcoholics who are also Christian. I would use a little 'tough love' on her and say that Church once a week is NECESSARY. Alcoholics need strong guidelines and structure. I believe her wanting to stop going to church is part of her alcoholic syndrome.......and no one can really help her until she wants, desperately wants help.....and will go to any lengths to get it. She is not desperate enough the way I see it. Love her, but be firm !! She is trying to manipulate you !! Don't do it! Blessings to you!
Reply:Church won't do it. Send your pal to AA. It has a much better track record.
Reply:You can always tell her that the two are designed to go hand-in-hand. Also, you can encourage her to see if there are any other resources your church has for study like Adult Sunday School.





I might also tell her that speaking with the pastor about the Sunday message might give her some ideas on things to look at during the home Bible study.
Reply:Quella Bella is correct. MELicious's answer is perfect. Please listen carefully to what she said.





Pastor John
Reply:.





Perhaps The Lord Prefers Your Attention All To Himself On Sundays.





God Bless You





.
Reply:Well, it would be best not to push her too hard, she may just not be ready to commit to attending church all the time yet, work on it, things may well work out just fine over time. Being too critical of things often overwhealms and turns many people away from churches.





It's not a sin to miss church. Although it is healthy for the Christian life.
Reply:Some type of addiction counseling!!


AA does not work for everyone. There are quite a few women that have had bad experiences with AA because there a predators around the group but this is true in many churchs also.


60+% of the people that have stopped drinking do so through a church or continual counseling. Some just white knuckle it. All the churches combined with all the counseling do not do better than AA does.





AA is very diverse and each group is different. Some are more Christian and others atheistic.





If she has said no to AA then there are other programs both by professionals and non professional. Drinking must stop or there is a block to God.





AA considers drinking a mental and emotional malady for which there is a spiritual solution. Churches do not always work on drinking or drugging but another program may!! AA or another!!





There are many that run from church group to church group for sympathy, money, and so forth. They run from enabler to enabler. Do not enable.





She must hit bottom in some way and no longer want to live as she has lived. We must not forget where we came from and what it took to get out. There is not a soft bottom and cushioning it does not allow them to hit it.
Reply:Alcoholics Anonymous





She wants a friend but being emotionally involved blocks you from being able to see what is really the problem?





The difficulty is that alcohol and the thinking blocks God from being able to work in her.





If you have not recovered (recovering from substance addiction) yourself - it can be near impossible to help an active alcoholic.





Even those who have many degrees and experienced professionals in the field of alcohol and other addictions have a hard time of helping a person in their bottle but another alcoholic who is recovering can often reach them in a heartbeat.





Let her hit bottom and guide her to AA. Then and only then will she be able to find a Power to help her.





After recovery begins the she will be open to God....
Reply:Is it possible to do a bible study that explores the sunday message in greater depth. Like, if your pastor is teaching in Ephesians, that's what you discuss. The Sunday message, but deeper.





Also, be sensitive to why she prefers you to church. Maybe she thinks that the people at church are judging her or seem so holy. Maybe introduce her to some people that you know have struggled with addiction. Sometimes the unchurched think that churches are full of perfect people in pews. We all know that we were all wheels off sinners, but our lives have changed. Just keep it real. We are sick in need of a doctor.
Reply:AA
Reply:She is telling you in a nice way she is thru with the Sunday morning bit. I don't care for alcohol but I think I would prefer it over being saturated with religious propaganda.
Reply:I can not state how much I agree with Melicious!!!!!





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Reply:Well, this might be a little harsh, but . . .





Could you tell her that she can attend your Bible Study ONLY if she goes to church on Sundays?
Reply:Advise her that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Bible study is great but once a week like you said is not enough. Think about it in terms of eating you don't eat a balanced meal once a week and expect that meal to take you through the rest of the week if you did you would starve your physical body. The same holds true when it comes to you spirit man if you don't fed it (the spirit) will begin to die. Let her know that you enjoy the bible studies as well and that going to church on sunday will only enhance what she is learning in the studies. I pray that this helps. Be Blessed.
Reply:Pretty much the exact same thing happened to me. I told them that the Church would ALWAYS be there and that the Pastor and Assistant Pastors and some others were just as qualified as me to Teach. And that I would NOT always be there. Eventually, they saw the light. They still miss Services sometimes, but they didn't quit entirely.
Reply:Your friend if admitting she has an alcohol problem, should get herself enrolled in an extensive alcohol rehabilitation program like AA to name one which I believe is the best program out there. In fact, I'm working on my 7th year of sobriety as I voluntarily put myself through the program. And part of the basic fundamentals of the program is based on biblical principles. Therefore, not only would your friend be surrounded by people who have been and are going through the same thing she's going through, and that's battling the disease of alcohol. I mean, it's fine and great that you're taking her to church and I encourage that you keep taking her as it's a great forum to detour her from her addictions. Yet, she needs to be involved in a program where she has common ground with people of her likeness. You follow me? Once she becomes acclimated in a structured program geared just for her, she'll find herself and ultimately gain control and perhaps venture to the deeper core of her higher power, God. Get in the program. Alcohol is a horrible disease and quoting scripture to your friend once or twice a week is not quite going to help ween her off of her vice.
Reply:Finish your Bible Study. The more that I found out about our Lord, the more that I wanted to please Him. The Word of the Lord will not come back void. Let the study work on her. She will evenyually start coming around! God doesn't force Himself on anyone.
Reply:Everyone's faith journey (and life journey for that matter) is their own. Be glad that she feels that she is getting something useful and helpful to her journey from her Bible studies with you. Do not push her to do more than she is ready or willing to do - or you will push her away. She is not forsakeing gathering together - she IS gathering together on Wednesdays with you. "Where 2 or more are gathered in My name" - you + her = 2. If God wants to put it on her heart to attend church or study His word more often, have faith in knowing that HE will impress it upon her - you do not have to. God meets us each right where we are - that includes your friend.





As far as the alcohol problem goes - that won't be fixed until SHE wants to fix it. No amount of Bible Study or church attendance will change the drinking problem until she decides that it is indeed a problem and reaches out not only to God but to services/programs that can help her with the addiction.
Reply:Stop holding the Bible study...Let her know that you only did the Bible study for mid-week encouragement and that it does not replace the fellowship that we receive when we gather at Church...Is it possible for you to pick her up for church? I know you are already going above and beyond.. She doesn't need help from any other sector, God can heal her..Of course it wouldn't hurt to attend other meetings...if your church has two services, maybe the second service would be better since it would give her a little more time to sleep...She needs tough love, but unfortunately tough love with an alcoholic is ofter seen as judging and condemning and being a jerk...





Just keep doing what you are doing, but tell her you think that just the Bible study is not going to give her the spiritual nourishment that she needs and that it is to really go along with the Church service..Keep praying.. you are doing the right thing.
Reply:Tell her it's a sin not to go to church.....(as often as you can)


which it is.
Reply:Trying to help a person with a problem is nice, but do you think brainwashing her with your religious nonsense is the answer?
Reply:Are you trying to replace one addiction with another or get her to have self-realization.





Think about it for a while.





You do realize Peter and the others were took drunk on Sabbath Wine to protect Jesus accurately.





Would you take the cup away from Jesus too!





He once asked GOD to take it away from him and GOD REFUSED.





That's something to ponder.
Reply:While I agree in part with Quella Bella,I would contribute that,...just as satan works away at us on a daily basis,(particularly newbies), so must we edify ourselves daily,and attending church as often as possible is a tremendous tool,in helping any of us to get past tough obstacles in our lives. Just to be around positve people at the end of a hectic day around a heathen world,is so refreshing to one's spirit.


The devil coming against this friend of your's and trying to convince her that wednesday nite bible study,ALONE, with "you" is a dirty spirit of lying and deceit coming against her. And as she comes into your presence,she brings this demon of alcoholism with her,that in turn looks for any opening,no matter how slight,to invade your own spirit.


How long will it take for you to realize,that you no longer need to attend sunday services as well?


Watch yourself,and beware a wolf in sheep's clothing.