Bible study and Love??

So earlier tonight i went to a bible study and the people leading it said these words out of a book "Love is not a feeling it's a choice."





I was very confused by this and wanted to know what that really meant. So if anyone can explain please do. Thanks.

Bible study and Love??
LOVE: NOT A FEELING BUT A CHOICE!


No doubt about it, there are some people who are just very difficult to love! Try as you might, ugly feelings well up within you every time you think about them, or when you see them.





-- You've been left sitting high and dry in a relationship;


-- You've disagreed over biblical interpretation;


-- You've been unduly criticized by someone with a condemning spirit;


-- You've been cut out of the will by a conniving sibling;


-- Your name and reputation have been smeared by a malicious gossip;


-- You've been hurt by someone who got the promotion that rightfully belonged to you;


-- You're struggling as to why you were given up for adoption.





And the list goes on. Simply put, there isn't much on which you see eye to eye with that other person, and he or she simply rubs you the wrong way! Actually the Bible calls us to LOVE such people. "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the dark ness," writes John (1 John 2:9/NIV). He continues: "Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble, But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the dark ness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him" (verses 10-11).





Does this scripture mean that when you're struggling to love someone, you aren't a Christian, or that you're not saved? Actually, these verses aren't talking about disliking a disagreeable Christian brother or sister. Rather, John's words focus on the ATTITUDE that causes us to ignore, despise, or treat them as enemies. We can choose to be concerned about people's well-being and treat them with respect, whether or not we FEEL affection toward them.





There will ALWAYS be people with whom we don't see eye to eye, but we should still CHOOSE to love them, because those who deserve love the LEAST are usually the ones who need it the MOST!





--Paul W. Brubaker
Reply:Dont put to much faith in books of fiction.Love is a feeling.
Reply:I'm don't think the word choice is a good one. Since you're asking in a religious forum, you want a Biblical definition.


The concept of "love" in the Bible isn't based on feelings. Our feelings can change from moment to moment. Biblically, love is a verb, it's and action. You don't just say you love, you do something to show your love. In John 3:16, God just didn't say He loved the world. God showed He loved the world by giving His son as a sacrifice for man-kind, so you and I may have eternal life.


In 1st Corinthians, husbands are told to love their wives the way Christ loved the church. Christ gave His life for the Church, there was an action.


There's a Greek word for love, agape, which is an unconditional love. That's the way God loves us. It's not based on feelings or emotions, no matter what we do, we can never be out of God's love.


If you heard this at a Bible study, the word choice is a bad word to use. God didn't tell us we should chose to love one another, He commanded us to love one another. It's not our choice to love or not, it's God's law to love.


The essence of God is love. The way you show you love God is to love others, and to give yourself for other....For God so loved the world.
Reply:Yes that is confusing.The more I think about it I think they misquoted something.


Love is both a feeling and a choice as you can "love" more than one thing or person at the same time for different reasons.


for marriage purposes it is a choice between the different types of people you know and which fits in better with your idea of a good mate.
Reply:Aha. You've stumbled upon a very Christian way of thinking.





The term "love" as used by most Christians, whether they realize it or not, is from the Greek language "agape" (pronounced "ah-gah-PAY"). It means brotherly love, or unconditional love. It is the kind of love that God has for all of humanity, and Jesus directed us to cultivate in one another.





Now, this is important and interesting to me because I'm the kind of Christian who is skeptical of "feelings" and don't want to be swept up in emotional diatribe as I see many well-meaning Christians do. We CHOOSE to be forgiving people, even to those who make us angry; it's simply a tenet of Christianity to rise above squabbling and rivalry or to not allow ourselves to be influenced by rage. Such things are "of this earth". God wants us to rise above such things, and so, we are forgiving. We realize that unconditional love will allow others to realize their mistakes and hopefully make things right with us.





How is it not a feeling? This is difficult for many young people to get their heads around, but when we're younger, we take our feelings in stride as life. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm jealous, etc. However, when we stop reacting to everything, the everything stops controlling us, and our conscious mind allows us to exert control over our own lives. I might feel anger, but my conscious mind knows a Godly person won't allow righteous anger (yes, it's okay to be angry) to turn into ungodly rage.





I don't know you. I've only read your question. I have no feelings for you one way or the other. But I choose to offer you unconditional love, which you can take as openness, affection and acceptance if you like.





I hope this helps! :)
Reply:Our feeling can change on a daily basis and take us for a roller coaster ride. True love is a choice, and how we walk out our love for others is not based off of what we say but our actions.
Reply:What book did they pull THAT out of? Surely not the Bible. I'd take them with a grain of salt.
Reply:Evangelicals use this phrase to control your behavior. They want you to not rely on your feelings (for example, valid, logical feelings of doubt) and instead focus on your ability to "decide" to follow Jesus, to "love" Jesus. Maybe that's the wrong context for this situation, but I definitely know that they do use "choice over feeling" as a strategy to get their recruits passed doubt and into the fold. Run away, quickly!
Reply:It doesn't make any sense to me. You can't choose who you love, you just love them.





Some people prefer blondes, some prefer brunettes, some prefer redheads.





Some people like their partners skinny, some like them heavy-set, others like them muscular.





Some people are generally more attracted to white people, or black people, or brown, or yellow, or red...





People don't CHOOSE these things, they just feel them. People are just naturally drawn to certain characteristics or certain people. If people could choose whom they love, why do you think anyone would choose to love someone who abuses them, or that their parents don't approve of, or who is terminally ill...





The reality of it is precisely the opposite of what that book said. What book said this?
Reply:Love is a person. The person who raised you. The person who taught you right from wrong. The person who disciplined you. The person who fed you, who clothed you, who brought you justice.





OK, scrap that, you aren't ready for it. How about this: pretend that you are an actor/actress, and you are studying for a part that calls for a passionate exchange, how will you find the emotion within you to play it out? Do you use fake emotion, or real emotion?





Find something within the people around you that is worthy of love, and love them.





Romantic love is different. It's like you are caught up in a great bonfire of desire.
Reply:I think what they are saying is that you have to make a conscious decision to act lovingly toward people who you might not feel like being loving toward.
Reply:I believe they are trying to make a distinction between romantic love and altruistic love. Romantic love is all about feeling, how you feel when you are together or apart, what you can do for each other to enhance the feeling. Some call this infatuation but the motivation is selfish. If these strong feelings are not reinforced by the beloved's response, the strong feelings can fade and the love is in danger of disappearing.





The love that is a choice does not require feedback. It is thankless, altruistic love that seeks the good of the other person even without acknowledgement. Some give it a fancy name like agape' or God-love. Others say it's just another way of describing duty. The point is, it's harder and requires a strong sense of self to maintain.
Reply:Well look at marriage, its a choice to get up early and go to work and change diapers, pay bills etc,,, this part is not a feeling.
Reply:Attractions come and go. Love is a choice to be whole and to be for the other through your choice of commiting yourself.
Reply:I think they mean love isn't something you fall into--that's lust. What you can fall into, you can fall out of. Love is a choice made to love someone who has good character. If you love someone because of their character, that love grows. You don't fall out of it.





Prayer the Language of Love





To someone who asked whether prayer was necessary, since presumably God knows the wishes of all hearts, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá replied:—


If one friend loves another, is it not natural that he should wish to say so? Though he knows that that friend is aware of his love, does he still not wish to tell him of it? … It is true that God knows the wishes of all hearts; but the impulse to pray is a natural one, springing from man’s love to God.





… Prayer need not be in words, but rather in thought and action. But if this love and this desire are lacking, it is useless to try to force them. Words without love mean nothing. If a person talks to you as an unpleasant duty, finding neither love nor enjoyment in the meeting, do you wish to converse with him? (article in Fortnightly Review, Jul.-Dec. 1911, p. 784 by Miss E. S. Stevens).


In another talk He said:—


In the highest prayer, men pray only for the love of God, not because they fear Him or hell, or hope for bounty or heaven. … When a man falls in love with a human being, it is impossible for him to keep from mentioning 95 the name of his beloved. How much more difficult is it to keep from mentioning the Name of God when one has come to love Him. … The spiritual man finds no delight in anything save in commemoration of God. (from notes of Miss Alma Robertson and other pilgrims, November and December 1900).
Reply:Interesting you pointed this out. It seems like it is saying that we have a choice whether or not we want to love. When someone is in love with someone, what is it if it is not a feeling? I am not even going to philosophize further what I think that means because I do not. I just described it from the surface. Here is a suggestion. When you go back to this bible study or house of worship (wherever you heard that from) and ask the people leading that study what that means.





One word of advice, when you are at a study like that and do not fully understand what was said, go to the conductor or the ones leading it after the bible study is over and have them explain it to you. They should be more than happy to discuss the matter with you. They should use the scriptures and provide you with illustrations so that you are convinced. If you are not convinced, then pose this question again on Yahoo, but add some more details to it in order to help you out. 2 Timothy 3:16 in part says "All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching... for setting things straight." Certainly, this answer regarding love should have been shown scripturally to get a better grasp regarding love.

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